中文名: [Toiffer選版]諾貝爾文學獎獲獎作品——貝克特作品集
資源格式: PDF
版本: 2009搜集
發行時間: 2006年6月
地區: 大陸,美國
語言: 簡體中文,英文
簡介:

　薩缪爾·巴克利·貝克特（1906年——1989年），愛爾蘭著名作家、評論家和劇作家，諾貝爾文學獎獲得者(1969年)。他兼用法語和英語寫作，他之所以成名或許主要在於劇本，特別是《等待戈多》(1952年)。
　　1906年4月13日(或者是3月13日)，薩缪爾·巴克利·貝克特出生於愛爾蘭都柏林郊區福克斯洛柯的斯底勞根，確切的地點是一座名叫庫爾俊納的都铎王室建築。在孩提時代和中小學期間，他發現自己喜愛體育活動，而絲毫沒顯露出日後博學和善於駕馭語言的跡象。後來他就讀於三一學院，師從拉德莫斯-布朗攻讀現代語言。在這裡所受的教育使他的才智得到了表現。1928年至1930年，貝克特任巴黎高等師范學校的語言講師，並經常光顧咖啡廳，從而使自己步入30年代令人振奮的巴黎文壇——他在這裡為自己定下基調和主題，並和詹姆斯·喬伊斯、托瑪斯·麥格裡韋等人交往。回到都柏林後，他先在三一學院教授法語，以後有一段時間照料父親，最後在第二次世界大戰前不久定居巴黎。他與後來成為妻子的蘇姗·德克沃-迪梅斯尼爾一起參加法國地下抵抗組織，躲在魯西榮生活了一段時間。戰後(即 1950年他母親去世後)，隨著編輯和劇院老板開始發現他作品中的雙語天才，貝克特的經濟逐漸寬裕起來，但名聲也出乎意料地跌落。隨著他的作品日漸出名，他卻越來越退縮到自己的隱居狀態之中。貝克特只是偶爾鼓起勇氣邁出國門，主要是1956年因參加《等待戈多》的首演式而去過美國的邁阿密，1975年因導演該劇去過德國。此後他便隱居巴黎，只是通過他的出版商和外界聯系。
[編輯本段]【薩缪爾·巴克利·貝克特的文學歷程】
　　貝克特的文學生涯始於兩部非小說作品和幾首詩歌，而最終則以小說和戲劇創作著稱。1928年至1930年在巴黎逗留期間，貝克特為喬伊斯尚未定名的作品《為芬尼根守靈》的系列評論撰寫了一篇論文。文章標題相當古怪：《但丁…布魯諾·維柯 喬伊斯》(其中的圓點代表作家之間間隔的世紀數)。人們研究這篇文章常常是為了尋找貝克特日後成為天才的線索，而不是考慮它對喬伊斯作品的闡述。《普魯斯特》(1931年)是一篇篇幅更長的專題論文，對馬塞爾·普魯斯特小說語言的特征進行了深入詳盡的探討，同時也表現出貝克特對語言的交際作用和不確定性的復雜感受。詩歌《婊子鏡》(1930年)和《回聲的結構及其他急就之篇》(1935年)典故迭出，晦澀難解，除了最勤勉的學者之外，幾乎沒有人能夠讀懂。
　　貝克特最早創作的小說是《平庸女人的美夢》，但沒有完成。接著他寫了幾篇短篇小說，後來收入《刺多踢少》於1929年出版。這部短篇小說集僅僅因為書名就遭到不止一家出版商的拒絕，因為他們沒有意識到標題出自於《聖經》。貝克特的幽默在這些短篇中初露鋒芒，同時也表現出他駕馭語言的能力，他用精心選取的意義、隱晦的詞語，代替了冗長的現實主義描寫。
　　在回到愛爾蘭照料父親的時候，貝克特開始創作他的第一部出色的小說《莫爾菲》，但此書被拒絕42次之後才於1938年找到一家出版商出版。這是個晦澀滑稽的故事，描寫一個無法就業的愛爾蘭人如何躲避工作，又如何卷入了一場愛情糾葛。《莫爾菲》暗示著即將成為貝克特自己的那種痛苦孤立的世界景象，但作者卻把它掩蓋在歡快滑稽的復雜情節之中——三角 (或四角)戀愛，對都柏林社會底層游手好閒之輩浪漫傳奇般的描寫，以及穿插的教育小說成分(盡管讀者開始見到小說主人公莫爾菲時他已完全長大成人，但他卻把自己縛在搖椅上，試圖把自己搖入被人忘卻的世界)。文學史家將這部著作和喬伊斯的《尤利西斯》一並歸入愛爾蘭的城市史詩之列。
　　貝克特於1937年返回巴黎，但他的文學生涯(他正靠撰寫文學評論謀生)卻因德國占領而告中斷。他在為地下組織工作期間寫成了《瓦特》，這是一部關於准數學置換與復合的散文體論文，綜合了十幾個哲學前提。一些有識之士試圖通過五種感官把難以捉摸的混亂現實組織起來，而《瓦特》則是貝克特將這種復雜過程小說化的最成功的嘗試。作品從書名中的雙關語 [瓦特(Watt)是另一個名叫諾特(Knott)的人物所用的名字。Watt與what (什麼)同音，Knott與not(不)同音。)開始，通過一系列感覺可能性的迷宮 (其中有六頁篇幅描寫委員會成員之間交換眼色)，直到最後經常引用的附錄(“無人索查的地方沒有符號標記”)，通篇是一項規模大得可怕的語言游戲。
　　經歷過戰爭的混亂以後，貝克特於1946年開始創作第一部法語小說《梅西埃與卡米埃》(1970年)，翌年開始創作第一部戲劇《埃留提裡烏斯信徒》。在今天看來，這兩部作品只是隨後十年奇跡般的文學戲劇創作的預習。在隨後十年當中，他出版了三部曲巨著《馬洛伊》、《馬洛納正在死去》和《無名的人》，他的劇本《等待戈多》和《結局》(1956年)也得到出版、翻譯和公演，而且他還自己動手把這些作品譯成了英語。這些作品奠定了他榮獲諾貝爾文學獎的基礎，但卻使十幾部類似的作品黯然失色，雖然一個次要作家有了這十幾部作品，一定會功成名就。
　　三部曲的寫作持續了六年之久(英文譯本直到1956年才完成)，這是貝克特對自己世界觀最詳盡的描述；它以馬洛伊尋找母親的近似現實主義的細節描寫開始，通過馬洛納超現實主義的臨終反思，直到以無名人脫離軀殼的頭顱在旋轉的幻覺世界中心的灰色心理作為結局。作為對痛苦、失落和絕望心靈的文學闡述，三部曲是無與倫比的。它通過個人色彩濃厚的敘述風格，引導讀者越過一切參照標志而進入純主觀的灰色格調。即使沒有幾個可以認出的地名，它也是赤裸裸的自傳，因為貝克特試圖描寫那些似乎難以訴諸筆端、不言而喻、撲朔迷離而又完全屬於個人的一切，而且作品中只有這些內容。
　　《等待戈多》驚人的成功，反倒使貝克特聲名狼藉，他不能不繼續寫下去，蒙受著這種懲罰。當這出戲首先在倫敦(英文譯本)、然後在邁阿密、最後在紐約上演時，貝克特對美國導演艾蘭·史奈德說，成功或失敗對他來說完全無關緊要。到1980年，《等待戈多》已經在美國演出了幾十場，舊金山的實驗劇團還為滯留在聖昆丁的難民和參加布魯塞爾世界博覽會的人們演出。於是人們匆匆忙忙將貝克特稱作荒誕派作家，認為他和歐仁·尤內斯庫和品特同屬一個“流派”；評論家和報界也發現他的戲劇雖然令人困惑、沮喪，但又非常重要，並指出這出戲的雜耍淵源和對愛爾蘭民間漫畫藝術的借鑒。威維安·梅西埃稱它是“一出任何事情都沒有發生過的雙料戲”。
　　這突如其來的成功，同時也意味著他要付出大量的時間。它在某種程度上促使貝克特愈來愈縮進他自己隱退的緘默之中。他拒絕就自己的作品發表評論，而讓評論家自己到作品本身中去尋找一切答案。後來他於1955年寫成《結局》、廣播劇《落下的一切》(此次由羅伯特·品蓋特和作者一起譯成法語，1957年出版)和專門為演員帕特裡克·馬潔所寫的獨角戲《克拉普的最後一盤磁帶》(1956年)。在貝克特與蘇珊娜結婚並與豪爾赫·路易斯·博爾赫斯分享國際編纂獎的同年，他寫出了小說《如此情況》(1961年)和戲劇《快樂的日子》。幾部小型作品——舞台劇、電視劇(其中最優秀的有寫於1964年出版於1966年的《啊，喬》)，甚至還有一部詩集——都難以確定寫作日期，因為貝克特常常靠仔細翻閱陳年筆記並重寫早年沒有發表的腳本和手稿中的某些部分，來滿足對他作品的新的需求。
　　出版界貪得無厭的胃口，盡管與貝克特的整個藝術觀點相對立，卻也促成了幾部作品集的出版，這主要是因為許多作品太短而不能出單行本。其中格羅夫出版社出版的著名選集有：《最初的愛情故事及其他》(1947年)、《功敗垂成》(1976年)、《作品散編：戲劇篇》(1976年)以及《卡斯肯多與其他短劇》(1967年)。1983年在紐約上演了由艾蘭·史奈德執導的三出短劇《俄亥俄州即興》(1981年)、《災難》(1982年)和《什麼·哪裡》(1983年)，三個短劇於1984年結集出版。
　　薩缪爾·貝克特在文學史上的地位，對於那些相信爭取成功是人類合情合理行為的人們，是一種普遍的嘲弄。貝克特在其文學生涯的早期就聲明，他沒有什麼要表達的欲望，沒有表達的緣由，也沒有表達的對象；但是對他這樣又不能不表達的人來說，結果表達得不僅豐富，而且深沉。學術界的許多人都認為，貝克特是迄今仍然在世的最偉大的作家，但他在巴黎卻只有一套普普通通的寓所，只允許他的出版商和密友登門造訪，偶爾寫出一篇短的散文或舞台劇腳本，好像是還不能夠完全停止工作。雖然他全力沉溺於體現自己本體論的緘默之中，但還是出版了驚人的文學作品。貝克特的生活觀就像《等待戈多》裡的波佐所說的那樣，“他們兩腳分開騎在墳墓上生產，光明轉瞬即熄，接著又是一片黑暗”，但他卻安享天年，而且生活得很好。他的文學生涯以及面對虛無所展示出的個人的力量，實踐了他的三部曲中最後的一段話：“一定要走下去，我走不動了，我還要走下去。”
　　
　　【1969年諾貝爾文學獎授獎辭——瑞典學院常務理事卡爾·拉格納·吉羅】
　　如果將敏銳的想象力和邏輯摻拌到荒謬的程度，結果將是一種似是而非的詭谲，或是一個愛爾蘭人，如果是一個愛爾蘭人，這似是而非的詭谲會自動地包含於其中。諾貝爾獎確實曾有被分享的情況出現，有趣的是，今年正發生了這種情況：一份諾貝爾獎頒給了一個人，兩種語言和第三個國家，而且是一個分裂的國家。
　　薩缪爾·貝克特於1906年出生在都柏林，將近半個世紀後，他才在巴黎揚名於世界文壇。3年之內出版的5部傑作立刻使他一躍成為文學界泰斗。這5部作品分別是1951年出版的小說《莫洛依》及其續集《馬洛納之死》，1952年出版的劇本《等待戈多》， 1953年出版的《莫洛依》的第二部續集《無名的人》及另一部小說《瓦特》。這一系列作品的問世，使作者在現代文學中大放異彩。
　　上述的年份只是指這些書出版的時間，不同於其完稿的年代及寫作順序。這些作品的雛形必須追溯到當時的環境及貝克特思想的早期發展。或許只有求助於貝克特近年的作品，才能了解到他的文學起點及小說《莫洛依》，以至作家喬伊斯、普魯斯特分別在1929年和1931年對他產生的重要影響。這位小說與戲劇的新表現形式的先鋒，承襲了喬伊斯、普魯斯特和卡夫卡的文學傳統，而他早年的戲劇創作則植根於18世紀90年代的法國文學和阿爾弗雷德·雅裡的《於布·王》。
　　從某種角度上說，小說《瓦特》的非凡創作可以看作是貝克特文學生涯的轉折點。久居巴黎的貝克特於納粹占領後設法逃到了法國南部，並在1942年至1944年間完成了這本書。在這本書中，他告別了使用多年的英語而開始用法語寫作，由此使他成名。直至15年後他才恢復使用母語進行寫作。他在完成《瓦特》而著手開始另一部新作時，氣氛也變了。他的其他成名作寫於1945至 1949年間，都以二次大戰為題材。大戰後他的作品已趨於成熟，展現出獨特的風格。
　　二次大戰對貝克特的影響既不是戰爭的實際意義，也不是前線的戰事或是他自己曾參加的“抵抗運動”，而在於重返和平後的種種：撕開地獄的帷幕，可怕地展露出人性在強制命令下服從的本能，已達到了非人道的墮落的程度，以及人性如何在這場掠奪下依然能殘存不滅。因此，貝克特的作品一再以人的墮落為主題，而他所表現的生命態度，更強調了生命存在的背景猶如鬧劇般地既怪異又悲哀，這可以說是否定論——一種在完成全部歷程前不能受干擾的否定論。它必須繼續到底，因為唯有那樣，才會發生悲劇思想和詩境顯示的奇跡。
　　這種否定一旦形成了，它能給我們什麼呢?一種肯定的愉悅的意象——在其中，黑暗本身將成為光明，最深的陰影將是光源所在。它的名字是同情。有著無數的前輩。亞裡斯多德自希臘悲劇中發展出他的經由同情和敬畏的“淨化”理論。而否定形成的意象，不只是希臘悲劇中恐懼的積累。人自叔本華深沉痛苦中得來的力量超過了謝林的爽朗天性。人在巴斯卡苦悶的懷疑中找到的神的恩寵，勝子萊布尼茲盲目信仰理論上各種世界的美好。我們再度審視愛爾蘭文學遺產對貝克特作品的影響——他獲益於狄恩．斯威夫特對人類黑暗狂暴的描繪遠遠超過奧立佛·哥爾斯密斯蒼白的田園牧歌。
　　貝克特世界觀的關鍵在於兩種悲觀的不同，一種是輕易的，不在乎思考一切的悲觀，另一種是在無法設防的悲慘境遇小、痛苦地面對現實而來的悲觀。前者的悲觀在於凡事皆沒有價值因而有其極限，後者試圖自相反的觀念去解釋，因為沒有價值的東西絕不能再降低他的價值。我們曾目睹了前人所未見到的人的墮落，如果我們否定了一切價值，墮落的證明就不存在了。但是如果了解了人的墮落會加深我們的痛苦，則我們更能認識人的真正價值。這就是內在的淨化及來自貝克特黑色悲觀主義的生命力量。更有甚者，這種悲觀主義以其豐富的同情心，擁抱了對人類的愛，因為它了解劇變的極限，一種絕望必須達到痛苦的頂峰才會知道沒有了同情，所有的境界都將消失。貝克特的作品發自近乎絕滅的天性，似已列舉了全人類的不幸。而他淒如挽歌的語調中，回響著對受苦者的救贖和遇難靈魂的安慰。
　　這在貝克特的兩大傑作中或許表現得最為明顯，《等待戈多》和《啊，美好的日子》都可被視為聖經的注釋。例如在《等待戈多》中有這樣的句子：“你是那將要降臨的還是我們要再等待的另一個呢?”劇中兩個流浪漢必須面對的，是以野蠻方式殘忍而無意義地生存著。這可以說是一部比較富有人性的劇本，沒有法律比創造本身更為殘忍。而人在創造中唯一占有的地方，是出自他有心惡意地將其他法律加諸其上的事實。但倘若我們想象有一個神，一個創造了人類能忍受的、無盡的痛苦的神，那麼我們正如劇中的兩個流浪漢一樣，將以何種方式相會於某時某地呢?貝克特對這個問題的答案就是劇本的名字。到劇終時我們仍未弄清戈多的身份，就像我們到了自己生命的最後一幕仍不明白一樣。幕落了，我們深信眼前看過的殘害的力量，但我們明白一件事，無論經歷怎樣的折磨，有一種東西是永遠磨滅不了的，那就是希望。《等待戈多》中簡單地描繪了人類面對永遠的、不可料知的等待，所作的形式上的抉擇。
　　在另一劇本中聖經的引喻多和人的現實的選擇相關，他們彼此的關系，就像在曠野裡聽到了喊聲。貝克特在劇本的解說中，針對了一個無望地坐在沙漠中的不負責任的幻想加以說明，但主題則是另一回事。外在發生的是一個與世隔絕的人逐漸被越積越多的沙子覆蓋，直到他完全被埋葬在自己的寂寞中。但—樣東西始終矗立在令人窒息的沉默中，那就是他的頭和他在曠野裡的喊叫。人只要活著，就有一種不可磨滅的需求，在尋找自己的同類，和他們說話，互通訊息。
　　瑞典學院對於薩缪爾·貝克特未能在今天與我們同在深感遺憾。不過他選了首先認識到他的作品的重要性的巴黎出版商林東先生代表他，前來接受獎金。現在就請林東先生從國王陛下手中領取他所頒發的諾貝爾文學獎。
　　
　　【評論界對薩缪爾·巴克利·貝克特獲諾貝爾獎的反應】
　　報界決沒有忽略貝克特榮獲諾貝爾獎的諷刺意義，它注意到瑞典文學院為這樣一個人大唱贊歌與其宗旨並不和諧：他的作品認為人的任何努力都沒有希望，沒有意義，沒有價值，此外他多年來一直抵制成為名人的沖動(他的朋友的而不是他自己的沖動)。然而，在認為貝克特的作品太壓抑(好像貝克特個人應該對他的所見所寫負責)的诋毀者面前，瑞典文學院卻因敢於承認貝克特貢獻的重要性而贏得了贊譽。有些文章回顧了1964年讓-保爾·薩特出於政治原因而拒絕受獎的情況。有些文章則提及貝克特早年在巴黎期間與詹姆斯·喬伊斯的聯系(這種復雜的思想交流被說成是師生關系，實在是新聞界過於簡單化的典型)。這種“愛爾蘭聯系”大大超越了喬伊斯與人交往的性質；歐美報刊以大量篇幅報道了都柏林對貝克特獲獎所作出的反應，並報道了該城對這位流落在外的本地人的熱誠。隨後是上演貝克特的作品，最引人注目的是阿貝劇院1969年12月上演了《等待戈多》。這一切都突出了愛爾蘭信仰的民族特性。
　　從報刊上試探性的、不置可否的措辭可以清楚地看出，新聞界極少有人真正熟悉貝克特的作品。有些報紙滿足於刊載其散文作品的長篇片斷；有些報紙則登載在辦公室卷宗中找到的作家星星點點的傳記細節。各種各樣的解釋性的嘗試更是笑話百出：有的信息不確但又自作聰明；有的不是引文有誤，就是標題用錯；還有的竟把肯尼思·廷楠擅自在《啊!加爾各答》(1969年)序幕的舞台導言中加進的一句也歸於貝克特。然而比較如意的嘗試畢竟還是有的：如倫敦的《泰晤士報》(10月24日)載文說：“貝克特的作品，就像一篇篇的樂章，十分精確地表現了它要表達的意義，多一點或少一點都會將其毀掉。”當學者們應邀就授獎反應撰稿時，他們便借機批駁那些認為貝克特的作品壓抑、消極和虛無的“樂觀主義者”，積極為貝克特辯護。貝克特的支持者們指出，他的作品富於自然景致的儉約之美，語言表述清晰，並具有在本體論的虛無面前也能深深感到的幽默。查爾斯·馬羅威茨(《紐約時報》，11月2日)這樣評價貝克特的作品：
　　“其有益之處在於它的毫不動情。從他對絕望的准確描寫裡，人們會得到對於虛無的更為清晰的概念，以及如何在這一片靠不住的原野上縱橫馳騁。推向極端的悲觀主義必然會產生出高雅和完美。”
　　人們普遍接受的反應是，一個在字裡行間中如此徹底、如此赤裸裸地暴露自己的人，有權不再涉足社會。由於缺乏通常為報界提供背景材料、但與獲獎本身並無多大關系的私人交談式的采訪，學者們開始通過貝克特迄今為止發表的作品來進行回顧：回顧《等待戈多》的演出，引證劇作家對哈羅德·品特、湯姆·斯托帕德以及其他荒誕派作家的影響。隨後幾年，出現了對貝克特進行專門研究的繁榮景象：從1970年雷蒙德·費德曼和約翰·弗萊徹合著的貝克特作品書目開始，到歐美各地紛紛成立貝克特研究會而達到高潮。
Beckett(貝克特)作品推薦
作者：戴晖
文章來源：作者惠賜
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On. Say on. Be said on. Somehow on. Till nohow on. Said nohow on.
On. I'll say on. (Let "on" be said.) I'll go on somehow. Till nohow on. Till I say "nohow on".
Say for be said. Missaid. From now say for missaid.
I'll say "say" instead of "be said" (or instead of "missaid"). From now on I'll say "say" instead of "missaid".
Say a body. Where none. No mind. Where none. That at least. A place. Where none. For the body. To be in. Move in. Out of. Back into. No. No out. No back. Only in. Stay in. On in. Still.
I'll say there's a body (where there isn't one). I won't say there's a mind (where there isn't one). That at least is true. I'll say there's a place (where there isn't one) for the body: for it to be in and move in, and to move out of and move back into again. No: the body doesn't move out or move back. It stays in, it stays on in - unmoving.
All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Everything is as it was of old. There's never been anything else. I've never tried anything else, never failed at anything else. But it doesn't matter: I'll try again, I'll fail again. I'll fail better than I did before.
First the body. No. First the place. No. First both. Now either. Now the other. Sick of the either try the other. Sick of it back sick of the either. So on. Somehow on. Till sick of both. Throw up and go. Where neither. Till sick of there. Throw up and back. The body again. Where none. The place again. Where none. Try again. Fail again. Better again. Or better worse. Fail worse again. Still worse again. Till sick for good. Throw up for good. Go for good. Where neither for good. Good and all.
First, the body. No: first the place. No: first both of them - now one, now the other. When I'm sick of one I'll try the other. I'll go on like that (somehow go on) till I'm sick of both of them - till I throw up and go away to where neither of them are. Till I'm sick of that too. Then I'll throw up and come back: to the body again (where there isn't one), and to the place again (where there isn't one). I'll try again and I'll fail again - fail better again. Or (better) I'll fail worse again, fail still worse again. Till I'm sick of it for good, throw up for good, go away for good to where neither of them are, for good: for good and all.
It stands. What? Yes. Say it stands. Had to up in the end and stand. Say bones. No bones but say bones. Say ground. No ground but say ground. So as to say pain. No mind and pain? Say yes that the bones may pain till no choice but stand. Somehow up and stand. Or better worse remains. Say remains of mind where none to permit of pain. Pain of bones till no choice but up and stand. Somehow up. Somehow stand. Remains of mind where none for the sake of pain. Here of bones. Other examples if needs must. Of pain. Relief from. Change of.
The body is standing. What? Yes, I'll say it's standing - that in the end it had to get up and stand. I'll say there are bones (there are no bones, but I'll say there are). I'll say there's ground (there's no ground, but I'll say there is). So that I can say there is pain. Can there be no mind and still be pain? I'll say yes there can, that the bones feel pain until they have no choice except to stand up, somehow to get up and stand. Or (for better or worse) I'll say there are remains, say there are remains of mind (where there aren't any), to permit of pain: pain in the bones till they have no choice but to get up and stand (somehow get up, somehow stand). I'll say there are remains of mind (where there aren't any), for the sake of pain. Here the pain is the bones' pain - but I'll give other examples if needs must, other examples of pain. And of relief from pain. (Or of change of pain.)
All of old. Nothing else ever. But never so failed. Worse failed. With care never worse failed.
Everything is as it was of old. There's never been anything else. But I have never failed so much, never failed worse (if I'm careful I'll never have failed worse).
Dim light source unknown. Know minimum. Know nothing no. Too much to hope. At most mere minimum. Meremost minimum.
There's a dim light, source unknown. (I must know the minimum. Could I know nothing? No, that's too much to hope for. At most I must know a bare minimum, the merest minimum.)
No choice but stand. Somehow up and stand. Somehow stand. That or groan. The groan so long on its way. No. No groan. Simply pain. Simply up. A time when try how. Try see. Try say. How first it lay. Then somehow knelt. Bit by bit. Then on from there. Bit by bit. Till up at last. Not now. Fail better worse now.
The body has no choice but to stand - somehow to get up and stand, somehow stand. Either that or groan (the groan that has been so long on its way). No, there's no groan. There's simply pain, and simply standing up. There was a time when I'd have tried to find how it was (tried to see, tried to say): how first it lay down, then somehow knelt (bit by bit), then went on from there (bit by bit), till at last it stood up. But I won't do that now: now (for better or worse) I'll fail.
Another. Say another. Head sunk on crippled hands. Vertex vertical. Eyes clenched. Seat of all. Germ of all.
Another image (I'll say there's another): a head sunk down on crippled hands - with its vertex vertical, its eyes clenched shut. (The head which is the seat of all and the germ of all.)
No future in this. Alas yes.
There's no future in this. (But yes, alas - there is a future in it.)
It stands. See in the dim void how at last it stands. In the dim light source unknown. Before the downcast eyes. Clenched eyes. Staring eyes. Clenched staring eyes.
The body stands. See how at last it stands, in the dim void, in the dim light (source unknown) - before the downcast eyes: the clenched eyes, the staring eyes, the clenched staring eyes.
That shade. Once lying. Now standing. That a body? Yes. Say that a body. Somehow standing. In the dim void.
That shade (once lying, now standing) - is that a body? Yes, I'll say that's a body. Somehow standing, in the dim void.
A place. Where none. A time when try see. Try say. How small. How vast. How if not boundless bounded. Whence the dim. Not now. Know better now. Unknow better now. Know only no out of. No knowing how know only no out of. Into only. Hence another. Another place where none. Whither once whence no return. No. No place but the one. None but the one where none. Whence never once in. Somehow in. Beyondless. Thenceless there. Thitherless there. Thenceless thitherless there.
A place (where there isn't one). There was a time when I'd have tried to see it, tried to say it: how small it was, or how vast - what its boundaries were (if it wasn't boundless). And where the dim light came from. But not now, I know better now. Now I know better what I don't know. I know only that there is no way out of it. I don't know how I know: I know only that there is no way out of it, only a way into it. So I'll say there's another (another place where there isn't one): a place to which there is no return, once it is gone out of. No, I won't say that. There is no place except the one place: no place except the one place (where there isn't one) - from which there is no way out, once it is gone into (somehow gone into). A place with nothing beyond it. A place from which there is no way out and to which there is no way in. No way out of it and no way into it.
Where then but there see -
Where but there, then, do I see –
See for be seen. Misseen. From now see for be misseen.
[I'll say "see" instead of "be seen" (or instead of "misseen"): from now on I'll say "see" instead of "misseen".]
Where then but there see now -
Where but there, then, do I now see -
First back turned the shade astand. In the dim void see first back turned the shade astand. Still.
(First, with its back turned, the standing shade: first, in the dim void, I see the shade standing with its back turned, unmoving).
Where then but there see now another. Bit by bit an old man and child. In the dim void bit by bit an old man and child. Any other would do as ill.
Where then but there do I now see another shade. Bit by bit, I see an old man and child: in the dim void, bit by bit, an old man and child. (Any other shade would do as ill.)
Hand in hand with equal plod they go. In the free hands - no. Free empty hands. Backs turned both bowed with equal plod they go. The child hand raised to reach the holding hand. Hold the old holding hand. Hold and be held. Plod on and never recede. Slowly with never a pause plod on and never recede. Backs turned. Both bowed. Joined by held joining hands. Plod on as one. One shade. Another shade.
Hand in hand with equal plod they go. In their free hands..... No: the free hands are empty. With their backs turned, and both bowed, with equal plod they go. The child has its hand raised to reach the hand holding it, to hold the old holding hand, to hold and be held. They plod on and never recede. Slowly with never a pause they plod on and never recede, with their backs turned and both bowed, joined by held joining hands. They plod on as one - as one shade. (That's another shade.)
Head sunk on crippled hands. Clenched staring eyes. At in the dim void shades. One astand at rest. One old man and child. At rest plodding on. Any others would do as ill. Almost any. Almost as ill.
The head is sunk on crippled hands, its clenched eyes staring at shades in the dim void: one shade standing at rest, one an old man and child (plodding on, but at rest). Any others would do as ill. (Almost any others would do as ill - almost as ill.)
They fade. Now the one. Now the twain. Now both. Fade back. Now the one. Now the twain. Now both. Fade? No. Sudden go. Sudden back. Now the one. Now the twain. Now both.
They fade away - now the single shade, now the twain, now both together. Then they fade back - now the single shade, now the twain, now both together. But do they fade? No, they go suddenly, and suddenly come back: now the single shade, now the twain, now both together.
Unchanged? Sudden back unchanged? Yes. Say yes. Each time unchanged. Somehow unchanged. Till no. Till say no. Sudden back changed. Somehow changed. Each time somehow changed.
Are they unchanged? Have they come back (suddenly) unchanged? Yes, I'll say yes, they're unchanged. Each time they are unchanged, somehow unchanged. Till no: till I say no. Now they return (suddenly) changed - each time they are somehow changed.
The dim. The void. Gone too? Back too? No. Say no. Never gone. Never back. Till yes. Till say yes. Gone too. Back too. The dim. The void. Now the one. Now the other. Now both. Sudden gone. Sudden back. Unchanged? Sudden back unchanged? Yes. Say yes. Each time unchanged. Somehow unchanged. Till no. Till say no. Sudden back changed. Somehow changed. Each time somehow changed.
The dim light, the void: have they gone too - and come back too? No, I'll say no: they've never gone and never come back. Till yes: till I say yes. They've gone too, and they come back too, the dim and the void: now one of them, now the other, now both together. Suddenly they're gone, suddenly they're back. Are they unchanged? Have they come back (suddenly) unchanged? Yes - I'll say yes: they are unchanged each time, somehow unchanged. Till no, till I say no: they come back (suddenly) changed, somehow changed. Each time they are somehow changed.
First sudden gone the one. First sudden back. Unchanged. Say now unchanged. So far unchanged. Back turned. Head sunk. Vertex vertical in hat. Cocked back of black brim alone. Back of black greatcoat cut off midthigh. Kneeling. Better kneeling. Better worse kneeling. Say now kneeling. From now kneeling. Could rise but to its knees. Sudden gone sudden back unchanged back turned head sunk dark shade on unseen knees. Still.
The single shade is gone (suddenly) first, then (suddenly) it comes back first - unchanged. (For now I'll say it's unchanged - so far unchanged.) The back is turned, the head sunk. The vertex is vertical, in a hat. Only the cocked back of the hat's black brim is to be seen. The back of the black greatcoat is cut off at midthigh. Or it's kneeling - it's better kneeling. For better or worse it's kneeling. (For now I'll say it's kneeling: from now on it's kneeling.) It could get up only as far as its knees. It's gone (suddenly), and it comes back (suddenly) unchanged: with its back turned and its head sunk, a dark shade on unseen knees.Unmoving.
Next sudden gone the twain. Next sudden back. Say now unchanged. So far unchanged. Backs turned. Heads sunk. Dim hair. Dim white and hair so fair that in that dim light dim white. Black greatcoats to heels. Dim black. Bootheels. Now the two right. Now the two left. As on with equal plod they go. No ground. Plod as on void. Dim hands. Dim white. Two free and two as one. So sudden gone sudden back unchanged as one dark shade plod unreceding on.
Next the twain are gone (suddenly), then back (suddenly). (For now I'll say they're unchanged - so far they're unchanged.) Their backs are turned and their heads sunk. Their hair is dim: one dimly white and the other so fair that it looks dimly white in that dim light. Black greatcoats (dim black) reach to their heels (the heels of boots). Now the two right heels, now the two left, as on they go with equal plod. There is no ground: they plod as if on a void. Their hands are dim - dimly white: two of them free, and two of them together as if they were one hand. Thus they plod on without receding (suddenly gone, then suddenly back unchanged), like a single dark shade.
The dim. Far and wide the same. High and low. Unchanging. Say now unchanging. Whence no knowing. No saying. Say only such dim light as never. On all. Say a grot in that void. A gulf. Then in that grot or gulf such dimmest light as never. Whence no knowing. No saying.
The dim is the same far and wide and high and low, unchanging (for now I'll say it's unchanging). There's no knowing where it comes from - and no saying. I'll say only that it's such dim light as never was before: on everything. I'll say there's a grotto, in that void. Or a gulf. Then in that grotto or gulf there is such dimmest light as never was before. There's no knowing where it comes from. (And no saying.)
The void. Unchanging. Say now unchanging. Void were not the one. The twain. So far were not the one and twain. So far.
The void is unchanging (for now I'll say it's unchanging). It would be a void were it not for the single shade, and for the twain: so far it would be, were it not for the single shade and for the twain. So far away.
The void. How try say? How try fail? No try no fail. Say only -
The void: how shall I try to say that? How try to fail to say it? I won't try, I won't fail: I'll say only –
First the bones. On back to them. Preying since first said on foresaid remains. The ground. The pain. No bones. No ground. No pain. Why up unknown. At all costs unknown. If ever down. No choice but up if ever down. Or never down. Forever kneeling. Better forever kneeling. Better worse forever kneeling. Say from now forever kneeling. So far from now forever kneeling. So far.
Before that, the bones. I'll go on back to the bones (they have been preying, since first mentioned, on the remains of mind previously mentioned), and back to the ground, and to the pain: there are no bones, no ground, no pain. Why the body stood up is unknown, at all costs unknown (if it was ever lying down). It had no choice but to get up (if it was ever lying down). Or perhaps it was never lying down: perhaps it's been kneeling for ever. Yes, it's better if it's been kneeling for ever. For better or worse it's been kneeling for ever. From now on I'll say it's been kneeling for ever. From now on (so far) I'll say it's been kneeling for ever. So far away.
The void. Before the staring eyes. Stare where they may. Far and wide. High and low. That narrow field. Know no more. See no more. Say no more. That alone. That little much of void alone.
The void: it's before the staring eyes, stare where they may - far and wide, high and low (that narrow field). I know no more, I see no more, I'll say no more than that, that alone: I'll say only that (that little much) about the void.
On back to unsay void can go. Void cannot go. Save dim go. Then all go. All not already gone. Till dim back. Then all back. All not still gone. The one can go. The twain can go. Dim can go. Void cannot go. Save dim go. Then all go.
I'll go on back to unsay that the void can go: the void cannot go unless the dim goes - and then all will go (all that has not already gone) till the dim comes back: then all will come back (all that is not still gone). The single shade can go, the twain can go, the dim can go: but the void cannot go unless the dim goes. And then all goes.
On back better worse to fail the head said seat of all. Germ of all. All? If of all of it too. Where if not there it too? There in the sunken head the sunken head. The hands. The eyes. Shade with the other shades. In the same dim. The same narrow void. Before the staring eyes. Where it too if not there too? Ask not. No. Ask in vain. Better worse so.
I'll go on back (for better or worse), to fail the head - said to be the seat of all and the germ of all. Of all? If it's the seat of all it's the seat of itself as well. And where if not there should it not be, as well? A sunken head in a sunken head, along with the hands and the eyes: a shade with the other shades, in the same dim, the same narrow void, before the staring eyes. Where should it be (as well) if not there as well? Don't ask. No: ask in vain. (For better or worse, that's how it is.)
The head. Ask not if it can go. Say no. Unasking no. It cannot go. Save dim go. Then all go. Oh dim go. Go for good. All for good. Good and all.
The head. Don't ask if it can go: say it can't, without asking. It cannot go unless the dim goes - and then all goes. Oh let the dim go, go for good! Let all go for good: for good and all.
Whose words? Ask in vain. Or not in vain if say no knowing. No saying. No words for him whose words. Him? One. No words for one whose words. One? It. No words for it whose words. Better worse so.
Whose words are these? It's in vain to ask. Or not in vain if (for example) there's no knowing, no saying: if there are no words for him whose words these are. For him? Not for him - for one: if there are no words for one whose words these are. One? Not one - it: if there are no words for it whose words these are. For better or worse that's how it is.
Something not wrong with one. Meaning - meaning! - meaning the kneeling one. From now one for the kneeling one. As from now two for the twain. The as one plodding twain. As from now three for the head. The head as first said missaid. So from now. For to gain time. Time to lose. Gain time to lose. As the soul once. The world once.
There's something not wrong with one. Meaning - meaning! - the kneeling one. From now on I'll say "one" for the kneeling one. Just as from now on I'll say "two" for the twain (the twain plodding on as if they were one) and "three" for the head. (The head which, as was first said, is missaid.) That's what I'll do from now on. To gain time - time to lose. Gain time to lose. (As once the soul was lost, as once the world was gained.)
Something not wrong with one. Then with two. Then with three. So on. Something not wrong with all. Far from wrong. Far far from wrong.
There's something not wrong with one. Then with two, then with three - and so on. There's something not wrong with all of them - something far from wrong, something far far from wrong.
The words too whosesoever. What room for worse! How almost true they sometimes almost ring! How wanting in inanity! Say the night is young alas and take heart. Or better worse say still a watch of night alas to come. A rest of last watch to come. And take heart.
It's the same for the words as well, whoever's they are. What scope there is for them to be worse than they are! How they almost ring almost true sometimes! How wanting in inanity they are! But I'll say the night is young (alas), and take heart from that. Or (for better or worse) I'll say that a watch of night is still to come (alas), that the rest of the last watch is to come. And take heart from that.
First one. First try fail better one. Something there badly not wrong. Not that as it is it is not bad. The no face bad. The no hands bad. The no -. Enough. A pox on bad. Mere bad. Way for worse. Pending worse still. First worse. Mere worse. Pending worse still. Add a -. Add? Never. Bow it down. Be it bowed down. Deep down. Head in hat gone. More back gone. Greatcoat cut off higher. Nothing from pelvis down. Nothing but bowed back. Topless baseless hindtrunk. Dim black. On unseen knees. In the dim void. Better worse so. Pending worse still.
First "one": first I'll try to fail "one" better. Something there is badly not wrong. Not that it's not bad as it is: not having a face is bad, not having hands is bad, not..... Enough: a pox on bad, on mere bad - to make way for worse (pending worse still). First the worse, mere worse (pending worse still). Add a..... Add? Never. Bow it down, let it be bowed down, deep down. The head in its hat is gone from view, more of the back is gone. The greatcoat is cut off higher up than it was, there is nothing from the pelvis down. There is nothing but the bowed back, the back of a topless baseless trunk in the dim blackness, kneeling on unseen knees in the dim void. That's how it is (for better or worse), pending something worse still.
Next try fail better two. The twain. Bad as it is as it is. Bad the no -
Next I'll try to fail "two" better (the twain) - bad as it is as it is. Bad the no -
First back on to three. Not yet to try worsen. Simply be there again. There in that head in that head. Be it again. That head in that head. Clenched eyes clamped to it alone. Alone? No. Too. To it too. The sunken skull. The crippled hands. Clenched staring eyes. Be that shade again. In that shade again. With the other shades. Worsening shades. In the dim void.
First I'll go back on to "three". Not yet to try and worsen it: I'll simply be there again, there inside that head inside that head. I'll be it again, that head inside that head. The clenched eyes will be clamped to it alone. Alone? No, not alone: as well. Those clenched staring eyes will be clamped to it as well - to it as well as to the sunken skull and to the crippled hands. I'll be that shade again, be in that shade again - along with the other shades, the worsening shades. In the dim void.
Next -
Next -
First how all at once. In that stare. The worsened one. The worsening two. And what yet to worsen. To try to worsen. Itself. The dim. The void. All at once in that stare. Clenched eyes clamped to all.
First I'll say how they are all there at once, in that stare: the worsened "one", the worsened "two" and what is yet to worsen (to try to worsen, to worsen itself). And the dim. And the void. They are all there at once in that stare: the clenched eyes are clamped to them all.
Next two. From bad to worsen. Try worsen. From merely bad. Add -. Add? Never. The boots. Better worse bootless. Bare heels. Now the two right. Now the two left. Left right left right on. Barefoot unreceding on. Better worse so. A little better worse than nothing so.
Next "two" - to worsen it from what is already bad (to try to worsen it). Add..... Add? Never. The boots: for better or worse they are bootless, their heels are bare. Now the two right heels, now the two left: left right, left right they plod on. Barefoot they plod on, unreceding. For better or worse, that's how it is: a little better or worse than nothing, that's how it is.
Next the so-said seat and germ of all. Those hands! That head! That near true ring! Away. Full face from now. No hands. No face. Skull and stare alone. Scene and seer of all.
Next, the so-called seat and germ of all. (Those hands! That head! Which so nearly ring true! Away with them.) It will be full face from now on. No hands, no face, just the skull and the stare alone: the scene and see-er of everything.
On. Stare on. Say on. Be on. Somehow on. Anyhow on. Till dim gone. At long last gone. All at long last gone. For bad and all. For poor best worst and all.
On: go on staring, go on saying, go on being - somehow go on, go on anyhow. Until the dim has gone, at long last gone, and all has at long last gone, for bad and all (for a poor-best attempt to be worst and all).
Dim whence unknown. At all costs unknown. Unchanging. Say now unchanging. Far and wide. High and low. Say a pipe in that void. A tube. Sealed. Then in that pipe or tube that selfsame dim. Old dim. When ever what else? Where all always to be seen. Of the nothing to be seen. Dimly seen. Nothing ever unseen. Of the nothing to be seen. Dimly seen. Worsen that?
It's not known where the dim comes from (at all costs it's not known). It's unchanging (for now I'll say it's unchanging). It's far and wide and high and low. I'll say there's a pipe in that void, or a tube. Sealed. Then inside that pipe or tube is the selfsame dim, the old dim. (What else has there ever been?) Where all is always to be seen (dimly seen) of the nothing to be seen. Nothing of the nothing to be seen (dimly seen) is ever unseen. (Can that be made worse?)
Next the so-said void. The so-missaid. That narrow field. Rife with shades. Well so-missaid. Shade-ridden void. How better worse so-missay?
Next the so-called void, the so-miscalled void - that narrow field rife with shades. It's well so-miscalled, that shade-ridden void. How (for better or worse) did I so miscall it?
Add others. Add? Never. Till if needs must. Nothing to those so far. Dimly so far. Them only lessen. But with them as they lessen others. As they worsen. If needs must. Others to lessen. To worsen. Till dim go. At long last go. For worst and all.
Add others. Add? Never. Till and if needs must. I'll add nothing to those here so far (dimly here so far). Them I will only lessen. But with them as they lessen (as they worsen) there will be others, if needs must - others to lessen and to worsen. (Till the dim goes, at long last goes, for worst and all.)
On. Somehow on. Anyhow on. Say all gone. So on. In the skull all gone. All? No. All cannot go. Till dim go. Say then but the two gone. In the skull one and two gone. From the void. From the stare. In the skill all save the skull gone. The stare. Alone in the dim void. Alone to be seen. Dimly seen. In the skull the skull alone to be seen. The staring eyes. Dimly seen. By the staring eyes. The others gone. Long sudden gone. Then sudden back. Unchanged. Say now unchanged. First one. Then two. Or first two. Then one. Or together. Then all again together. The bowed back. The plodding twain. The skull. The stare. All back in the skull together. Unchanged. Stare clamped to all. In the dim void.
On. Go on somehow, go on anyhow. I'll say that all has gone. (That's how I'll go on.) In the skull all has gone. All? No: all cannot go till the dim goes. I'll say, then, that only two have gone: in the skull, "one" and "two" have gone - gone from the void, gone from the stare. In the skull, all have gone save the skull itself, and the stare. They are alone in the dim void - they alone are to be seen (dimly seen): in the skull they alone are to be seen. The staring eyes are dimly seen by the staring eyes. The others have gone, long ago suddenly gone. Then suddenly they come back, unchanged (for now I'll say they're unchanged): first "one" then "two", or first "two" then "one". Or together: then they all come back again together. The bowed back, the plodding twain, the skull, the stare - they all come back in the skull together, unchanged, with the stare clamped to all of them. In the dim void.
The eyes. Time to -
The eyes. Time to -.
First on back to unsay dim can go. Somehow on back. Dim cannot go. Dim to go must go for good. True then dim can go. If but for good. One can go not for good. Two too. Three no if not for good. With dim gone for good. Void no if not for good. With all gone for good. Dim can worsen. Somehow worsen. Go no. If not for good.
First I'll go on back to unsay that the dim can go (somehow I'll go on back). The dim cannot go. If the dim were to go it would go for good. It's true, then, that the dim can go - though only if it goes for good. "One" can go without being gone for good. So can "two". But "three" can't go without being gone for good (gone for good along with the dim). The void can't go without being gone for good (gone for good along with all). The dim can worsen, somehow worsen: but it can't go, without being gone for good.
The eyes. Time to try worsen. Somehow try worsen. Unclench. Say staring open. All white and pupil. Dim white. White? No. All pupil. Dim black holes. Unwavering gaping. Be they so said. With worsening words. From now so. Better than nothing so bettered for the worse.
The eyes. It's time to try and worsen them, somehow try and worsen them. I'll unclench them: I'll say they're staring wide open, all white and pupil (dim white). White? No - they're all pupil: dim black holes, gaping unwaveringly. Let them be said like that, with worsening words: from now on let them be said like that. It's better than nothing for them to be bettered like that, for the worse.
Still dim still on. So long as still dim still somehow on. Anyhow on. With worsening words. Worsening stare. For the nothing to be seen. At the nothing to be seen. Dimly seen. As now by way of somehow on where in the nowhere all together? All three together. Where there all three as last worse seen? Bowed back alone. Barefoot plodding twain. Skull and lidless stare. Where in the narrow vast? Say only vasts apart. In that narrow void vasts of void apart. Worse better later.
The dim is here still, I'll still go on. So long as the dim is still here I'll still go on somehow, go on anyhow - with worsening words. And with a worsening stare for the nothing to be seen, at the nothing to be seen (dimly seen). Just as now (by way of somehow going on) I try to see where, in the nowhere, they are all together, all three together. Where, in that nowhere, are all the three as I last worse-saw them? The single bowed back, the twain plodding barefoot, the skull and the lidless stare: where, in the narrow vast, are they? I'll say only that they are vast expanses apart: in that narrow void they are vast expanses of void apart. (Later I'll worsen them better.)
What when words gone? None for what then. But say by way of somehow on somehow with sight to do. With less of sight. Still dim and yet -. No. Nohow so on. Say better worse words gone when nohow on. Still dim and nohow on. All seen and nohow on. What words for what then? None for what then. No words for what when words gone. For what when nohow on. Somehow nohow on.
What when words have gone? There are no words for what then. But I'll say (by way of somehow going on) that it's somehow to do with sight - with less of sight. There's still the dim and yet..... No, there's no way on like that. Suppose (for better or worse) that words are gone at a time when there's no way on: that the dim is still there yet there's no way on, that all is seen yet there's no way on. What words are there for what then? There are no words for what then: no words for what when words are gone, for what when there is no way on (somehow no way on).
Worsening words whose unknown. Whence unknown. At all costs unknown. Now for to say as worst they may only they only they. Dim void shades all they. Nothing save what they say. Somehow say. Nothing save they. What they say. Whosesoever whencesoever say. As worst they may fail ever worse to say.
Worsening words: whose they are unknown, where they come from unknown (at all costs unknown). Now it's for them to say (as worst they may, only they) that there's only they. The dim and the void and the shades are all words. There is nothing except what the words say (somehow say). There is nothing except them, nothing except what they say - whoever's they are, wherever they come from. (As they may fail worst to say ever worse.)
Remains of mind then still. Enough still. Somewhose somewhere somehow enough still. No mind and no words? Even such words. So enough still. Just enough still to joy. Joy! Just enough still to joy that only they. Only!
There are still remains of mind then, still enough: still enough of someone's, somewhere, somehow. Can there be no mind and yet be words? Even such words as these? So there are enough remains of mind still - still just enough to joy. (Joy!) Just enough still to joy that there are only they. (Only!)
Enough still not to know. Not to know what they say. Not to know what it is the words it says say. Says? Secretes. Say better worse secretes. What it is the words it secretes say. What the so-said void. The so-said dim. The so-said shades. The so-said seat and germ of all. Enough to know no knowing. No knowing what it is the words it secretes say. No saying. No saying what it is they somehow say.
There are still enough remains of mind to allow me not to know: not to know what they say, not to know what it is that the words the mind says say. ("Says"? Secretes, rather - for better or worse I'll say "secretes".) What it is the words it secretes say, what the so-called void says, what the so-called dim says, what the so-called shades say, what the so-called seat and germ of all says. It's enough to know that there is no knowing: no knowing what it is that the words it secretes say, and no saying it - no saying what it all is that they somehow say.
That said on back to try worse say the plodding twain. Preying since last worse said on foresaid remains. But what not on them preying? What seen? What said? What of all seen and said not on them preying? True. True! And yet say worst perhaps worst of all the old man and child. That shade at last worse seen. Left right left right barefoot unreceding on. They then the words. Back to them now for want of better on and better fail. Worser fail that perhaps of all the least. Least worse failed of all the worse failed shades. Less worse than the bowed back alone. The skull and lidless stare. Though they too for worse. But what not for worse. True. True! And yet say first the worst perhaps worst of all the old man and child. Worst in need of worse. Worst in –
That said, I'll go on back to try and worse-say the plodding twain. Since they were last worse-said they have been preying on the foresaid remains of mind. But what has not been preying on the remains? What has been seen, what has been said - what of all that has been seen and said has not been preying on the remains of mind? True. (That's something true!) And yet I'll worst-say (perhaps worst of all) the old man and child: that shade as it was when last worse-seen - plodding on barefoot (left foot, right right), unreceding. I'll worst-say them, then worst-say the words: I'll go back to them now, for want of any better way to go on, for want of any better way to fail. Perhaps I'll worser-fail that least of all. That may be the least worse-failed of all the worse-failed shades - less worse-failed than the single bowed back, less worse-failed than the skull and the lidless stare. Though they too have been failed for the worse. But what has not been failed for the worse? True. (That's something true!) And yet I'll first worst-say (perhaps worst of all) the old man and child. A worst in need of worse. A worst in -
Blanks for nohow on. How long? Blanks how long till somehow on? Again somehow on. All gone when nohow on. Time gone when nohow on.
The blank spaces are for when there is no way on. How long do they last? How long do the blanks last till I somehow go on, again somehow go on? (All is gone when there's no way on. Time is gone when there's no way on.)
Worse less. By no stretch more. Worse for want of better less. Less best. No. Naught best. Best worse. No. Not best worse. Naught not best worse. Less best worse. No. Least. Least best worse. Least never to be naught. Never to naught be brought. Never by naught be nulled. Unnullable least. Say that best worst. With leastening words say least best worse. For want of worser worse. Unlessenable least best worse.
Worse is less (by no stretch of the imagination is it more) - worse (for want of anything better) is less: less is best. No: naught is best - best in a worse way. No: that's not best in a worse way. Naught is not best in a worse way: less is best in a worse way. No: least is, least is best in a worse way - least which is never to be naught, never to be brought to naught, never by naught to be nulled, least which is unnullable. I'll say that’s what’s best in the worst way: with leastening words I'll say, at least, that that’s what’s best in a worse way. (For want of worser it's best in a worse way.) Unlessenable least is best in a worse way.
The twain. The hands. Held holding hands. That almost ring! As when first said on crippled hands the head. Crippled hands! They there then the words. Here now held holding. As when first said. Ununsaid when worse said. Away. Held holding hands!
The twain. The hands. The held and holding hands that almost ring true! As it was when first said, the head is sunk on crippled hands. (Crippled hands! The hands were there, then the words.) Here, now, there are the held and holding hands, as they were when first said. (They weren't unsaid when they were worse-said.) Away with them. Held and holding hands!
The empty too. Away. No hands in the -. No. Save for worse to say. Somehow worse somehow to say. Say for now still seen. Dimly seen. Dim white. Two dim white empty hands. In the dim void.
The empty hands too: away with them! There are no hands in the -. No: save that, to keep something worse to say (somehow worse, somehow to say). For now I'll say the empty hands are still seen (dimly seen). They are dim white - two dim white empty hands. In the dim void.
So leastward on. So long as dim still. Dim undimmed. Or dimmed to dimmer still. To dimmost dim. Leastmost in dimmost dim. Utmost dim. Leastmost in utmost dim. Unworsenable worst.
Thus they plod on towards the least, so long as there is dim still, undimmed dim. Or dim dimmed to dimmer still, to the most dim dim. They plod on leastmost in the most dim dim, in the utmost dim. They plod on leastmost in the utmost dim, in the unworsenable worst.
What words for what then? How almost they still ring. As somehow from some soft of mind they ooze. From it in it ooze. How all but uninane. To last unlessenable least how loath to leasten. For then in utmost dim to unutter leastmost all.
What words for what then? How they almost ring true still, as they somehow ooze from some soft part of the mind! (Ooze from it and ooze in it.) How almost not inane they are! How loath they are to leasten to the last unlessenable least - how loath then, in the utmost dim, to unsay leastmost everything.
So little worse the old man and child. Gone held holding hands they plod apart. Left right barefoot unreceding on. Not worsen yet the rift. Save for some after nohow somehow worser on.
The old man and the child are so little worse! With the held and holding hands gone, they plod on apart: barefoot, left then right, they plod on unreceding. I won't yet worsen the rift between them: save that for some time when I somehow go on worser (after there's no way on).
On back to unsay clamped to all the stare. No but from now to now this and now that. As now from worsened twain to next for worse alone. To skull and stare alone. Of the two worse in want the skull preying since unsunk. Now say the fore alone. No dome. Temple to temple alone. Clamped to it and stare alone the stare. Bowed back alone and twain blurs in the void. So better than nothing worse shade three from now.
I'll go on back to unsay that the stare is clamped to all the shades at once. No: but from now on I'll say it's clamped now to this shade, now to that shade. Just as it now moves away from the worsened twain to the next shade alone, then to the skull and the stare alone. Of the two, the worse in need is the skull which has been preying on the remains of mind ever since it ceased to be sunk on the crippled hands. Now I'll say the forehead alone is to be seen - no dome, only from temple to temple. The stare is clamped only to that and to the stare itself: the single bowed back and the twain are blurs in the void. So, for better or worse than nothing, from now on the stare is clamped to shade three.
Somehow again on back to the bowed back alone. Nothing to show a woman's and yet a woman's. Oozed from softening soft the word woman's. The words old woman's. The words nothing to show bowed back alone a woman's and yet a woman's. So better worse from now that shade a woman's. An old woman's.
Somehow I'll again go on back to the bowed single back. There's nothing to show it's a woman's back, and yet it is a woman's back. (The word "woman's" oozed from the softening soft part of the mind; and the words "old woman's"; and the words "nothing to show", "bowed back alone" and "a woman's and yet a woman's".) So from now on, for better or worse, I'll say that shade is a woman's (an old woman's).
Next fail see say how dim undimmed to worsen. How nohow save to dimmer still. But but a shade so as when after nohow somehow on to dimmer still. Till dimmost dim. Best bad worse of all. Save somehow undimmed worser still.
Next I'll fail to see - fail to say - how to worsen the undimmed dim: how there's no way except to make it dimmer still. But only a shade dimmer - so that when, after there's no way on, I can go on somehow to a still dimmer dim, to the most dim dim: the most-bad worse of all. Except that somehow the undimmed dim is worse still.
Ooze on back not to unsay but say again the vasts apart. Say seen again. No worse again. The vasts of void apart. Of all so far missaid the worse missaid. So far. Not till nohow worse missay say worse missaid. Not till for good nohow on poor worst missaid.
I'll ooze on back, not to unsay anything but to say again the vast expanses they are apart: to say I've seen again (no worse again) the vast expanses of void they are apart. Of all that have so far been missaid the vasts have been worse missaid. So far. Not till I can in no way missay worse will I say that worse has been missaid. (Not till there's no way on, for good, will the poor worst be missaid.)
Longing the so-said mind long lost to longing. The so-missaid. So far so-missaid. Dint of long longing lost to longing. Long vain longing. And longing still. Faintly longing still. Faintly vainly longing still. For fainter still. For faintest. Faintly vainly longing for the least of longing. Unlessenable least of longing. Unstillable vain least of longing still.
Longing, now, is the so-called mind which has long been lost to longing. (The so-miscalled mind - so far so-miscalled.) By dint of long longing it has been lost to longing - by dint of long vain longing. And it is longing still (still faintly longing, still faintly vainly longing) for a still fainter longing - for the faintest longing. Faintly